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Sad news about Ito...

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Today I have something to share with you all about Ito. He has been alive for 22 years and no one knows the true story behind his upbringing. It was only a legend at first, but researchers have been working around the clock to put the puzzle together. His life of mystery is no more.

The story starts out on May 26th, 1989. He shot out of his mother's womb with the speed of a prepubescent boy's premature ejaculation. His father held the boy in his arms and wrapped him in a blanket of green with familiar faces all around. Even now the boy's hair was thin and balding; his true weakness was already apparent.

Fast forward several years he is walking with the grace of a turtle, and his character is starting to build. He has an obsession with these cards with creatures, this is where the obsession with Japan starts. Pokemon possibly his first contact with the foreign art form called Anime. Although, it may be possible solely on the judge of character that he took a lot of what he has learned today from the hit show Sailor Moon.

As this boy became a young man he evolved from Pokemon to a countless amount of Anime that he purchased with money from performing chores around the house. His favorite place to obtain said Anime was from the nearest Best Buy or some places on the world wide web. Around this time is when the first Collision happened. He found Jpop; his sole love in the world. The Collision was a Forum, and this is where he would come to know a man that is popular among the world of the internet.

Spike760, a man that would become a key character in Ito's advancement in anything Japanese. They started out tame, some BoA, Utada, maybe even a little Namie. However, Ito's grasp for more was churning he wanted something he could relate to the shitty American music has father brainwashed him with for so many years. And thus Hide, Gackt, and Hyde appeared in the bowls of his ears. And soon he would taint those around him, and those he knew across the Internets.

Forum Collision collided with a wall several times, and soon it was time for even more. Ito and Spike wanted to take the internet by surprise with a forum that would taint even more into the world of Japanese Rock. They laid the trap with promise of dicks and hot asian men by the name of Dai. They would name this tainted trap by the name of Tainted World. An Ironic name because there are no worlds among the internet.

And then Tainted world died.... but the soul still burns.

Now we have Monochrome JESUS CHRIST THIS NAME IS LONG Heaven. Where he is a graphic designer that does something every 5 months. His love for Jrock is still strong, but his ambition has decayed after the war. He cries himself to sleep while listening to Korean Pop.

This once great man is now only a shell of what he used to be. So why not take a moment of your time to make fun of him even more.

YOU MAD GAY BRO <3

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I have always wondered, why people put their names on signatures for forums. It's like I can see your name right there. We should have put "ITO" on it; only so others would actually know how wonderful of a face you can make.

 

R.I.P. Ito.

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