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Himeaimichu

Ok... wtf do I do in this situation?

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So this is gonna be a lot to explain and I never thought I'd be going to MH for this, but my partner's mom is having her friend stay over for a while. He's in his 50's, and he thinks because he's older than me, he can parent me, treat me like a child (he even refers to me as a child!) and blatantly disrespects me and oversteps my boundaries. I don't think I can reason with him, since he acknowledges he's an asshole, and is proud of it. He's also very stuck in his boomer ways, as he thinks it's ok to hit children and animals. He's also in general kinda violent, and since he's got here, my partner's mom has been acting more violent, as she's been starting fights, and threatening to hit the cats and calls them mean names now. I'm actually afraid both of them would try to get violent with me and my partner, since they believe in spanking, and still see us as children. He also misgenders me and can't even be bothered to remember my god damn name. I'm always referred to as "what's his name". Aimi isn't that hard to remember, but ok. Oh, and I can't just up and leave, I don't leave this place for another few months, so I'm kinda stuck with him until one of us leaves.

In short, he's a piece of shit who treats me like a child, and it's not my say in whether he leaves or not, and my partner's parents really like him. So... what the fuck do I do? I can't leave yet (I move out in a few months) so I'm pretty much stuck with this trailer trash piece of shit, who I'm supposed to have sympathy for because his partner died. Should I even attempt to tell him he's overstepping my boundaries?

 

Oh and a little bonus, both of us are disabled, but he thinks my disability is invalid because I'm younger than him.

Edited by Himeaimichu

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If he's being violent/abusive and you feel threatened by him (and your partner's mother), I think the best idea would be to call the police. I know it might seem a bit drastic but if you're this worried for this reason, it's better to do it sooner than later. I understand if you don't want to because I know there's a fear of being hurt if you're found out for having called them and I would probably actually talk to someone in person about calling the police so you can get some support if you think that may happen, but I think the police know how to properly deal with this kind of situation.

 

If not that, at the very least, I would try to sit everyone down and tell them all how you feel. Either way, I don't think it'd be healthy to let this go on for much longer.

 

If you want to DM me about anything, you can. All the best ❤️

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3 minutes ago, Gesu said:

If he's being violent/abusive and you feel threatened by him (and your partner's mother), I think the best idea would be to call the police. I know it might seem a bit drastic but if you're this worried for this reason, it's better to do it sooner than later. I understand if you don't want to because I know there's a fear of being hurt if you're found out for having called them and I would probably actually talk to someone in person about calling the police so you can get some support if you think that may happen, but I think the police know how to properly deal with this kind of situation.

 

If not that, at the very least, I would try to sit everyone down and tell them all how you feel. Either way, I don't think it'd be healthy to let this go on for much longer.

 

If you want to DM me about anything, you can. All the best ❤️

Calling the police would be dangerous though since I'd have no place to go, and it would ensure my partner's parents kick me out. Plus, the police in this town kinda don't like my kind. I definitely will if he actually throws a punch or attempts anything to any of my pets. Right now, my focus is primarily surviving until my friends get their new apartment and my partner and I can move in

But yeah, we can PM about this!

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I think that if you want to confront him about it and you feel confident then you should at least try.  You're gonna have to stay calm throughout the entire thing though since self proclaimed assholes love to argue.  You can't change someone else's behavior for them though.  

I grew up with some family members who were aggressive and ignorant so I just avoided them at all costs.  It wasn't an ideal solution or one that made me happy, but it was a lot better than actually interacting with them and I didn't have any other choice anyway.  I just spent most of my time in my room and I never spoke to or looked at these people unless I absolutely had to.  I wouldn't respond when they made stupid comments towards me, even if the comments were actually hurtful. 

 

I never confronted anyone because I was too afraid to.  Now I sometimes imagine what it would've been like back then if I did confront them.  I think that the only way it would've worked is if I played really nice and pretend to care about their feelings while coming to some sort of compromise, so they felt like they were getting something out of it too.  That's high effort manipulation though, but if you don't mind doing something like that then it might be worth thinking about.

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