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VK horror stories extravaganzaaaaaaaa~~~

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Visual kei headlines have brought us some crazy stories, from dramatic member departures to unlikely label signings, and even stories that are so fucked up that they make it to nationwide news for the worst reason(!!!). As longtime and newbie fans of this silly genre of sexually ambiguous men playing instruments, we should have fun making up our own weird stories/predictions like imagining certain scenarios that make you go "what the actual fuck" but sound newsworthy - in the form of "horror stories". Don't worry, this is all in good fun - and better yet, it might actually happen at some point! Anything can happen in vk after all!

 

I'll keep mine short:

-Virge joins Starwave

-DADA/VELVET EDEN returns (again)

-Kiwamu makes another band

-Yumeleep ditches vk

-ZIN (ex-Jupiter)'s project USA releases an Engrish album

-Ryutaro Arimura performs with Nocturnal Bloodlust

 

What crazy sick scenarios are running through your mind???

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This much of a nosedive

 

 

 

 

 

Yoshiki x Avril collab

 

A US-made documentary on visual-kei that only discusses X, Gackt, Miyavi, and The GazettE with 0 mention of the indie scene or any other founding fathers / influencers. Endingo is interviewed

 

More of those visual-kei covers anime omnibuses spring up, in addition to ones where they cover Western acts. Dezert covers Metro Station, Soan Project Feat Mikiru from Dio cover Greenday, Dadaroma ""reinvent"" "Wreckingball" and the visual-kei facebook group tries their damndest to shill their effort. Kim Petras is not featured

 

More vkei x Drag Race cross pollination happens. RuPaul eventually says "Eroguro" and twitter creates discourse on how problematic the scene is due to the lack of Korean pop inclusion / they find out that 90's bands used swastikas as an aesthetic

Edited by Peace Heavy mk II

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Lol, after reading the posts in this thread I just imagined like a montage of YOSHIKI headlines.

 

"Long-awaited X JAPAN album finally released - hits number 30 on the Billboard charts"

"Legendary rock band X JAPAN collaborates with Oprah, crafts a line of best-selling home decor items"

"Meet YOSHIKI, the head of X Decor, the brand taking it to IKEA"

"X Decor's YOSHIKI is now one of the world's richest living people"

"YOSHIKI transfers brain into mechanized body, so that he may live forever and 'escape the pain of his past'"

"Mecha Emperor YOSHIKI promises that his new album is finished and will be released 'once all the details have been worked out with management'"

"'While I can no longer physically die, making this album was so tough that it almost killed me' Emperor YOSHIKI confesses"

 

 

Edited by violetchain

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1 hour ago, Peace Heavy mk II said:

More vkei x Drag Race cross pollination happens. RuPaul eventually says "Eroguro" and twitter creates discourse on how problematic the scene is due to the lack of Korean pop inclusion / they find out that 90's bands used swastikas as an aesthetic

Don't forget using Japanese flag as aesthetic too. Combined with non-Kpop inclusion, people will believe Visual Kei is Koreaphobic/Chosonphobic (For the Koreans up north) altogether

 

59 minutes ago, Arkady said:

It's a fusion between Trap music and Country music.

That actually exists.. people where I live listen to that... Yoshiki making Country Trap would not be too far off....

 

Edited by AimiGen7

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KAMIJO does a Gakupo and actually becomes a vocaloid instead of just doing collabs with them like he did with Miku that one time. Also, he does a cover of Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's PonPonPon. I could imagine that happening, for some reason. I like him, but he's a weird guy.

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Amano Tonbimaru rises out of his grave, making this a true horror story, but does not decide to continue Guruguru Eigakan.... or do music at all... 

 

Kiryu goes major, but abandons Vkei, abandons Metal, and is cursed to an existence as a normal band playing slightly-hard pop rock with rapid Japanese instruments à la Wagakki Band. 

 

Etcetera revives.... and makes more releases... 

 

Yayoi forms a new label, gets some bands signed to it. One of them is a newbie band that's gonna get really popular. The other is rejects from Ma'die Kusse/Mareydi Creia/Parasite Lucia. Yuuga forms a new band titled "Kar Maria" and says it's not the same as the old Kar'mariA. Deadly Sanctuary revives! but changes their name to "deadl" because "Deadly" wasn't short enough. The final are some no name bands that won't get nearly as popular as the Yuuga band and the Newbie band that gets the most funds. The whole thing flops in a dumpster fire, Yayoi runs, rinse, and repeat. 

 

Yukika's entire singing career.

 

The GazettE start smoking meth, drinking bud light, eating Chick Fil'a to be the most non-Japanese Vkei band in Japan. 

 

Miyavi x KRS-One collab to try to appeal to the Hip Hop crowd. Miyabi fanbase has no idea who tf KRS One is and think he's a new rapper. Mumble Rap fans whose first rapper was Drake will believe he's a pioneer in a new type of rap where they clearly speak their words.

 

Yoshiki x Garth Brooks collab

 

 

Edited by AimiGen7

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1 hour ago, AimiGen7 said:

Amano Tonbimaru rises out of his grave, making this a true horror story, but does not decide to continue Guruguru Eigakan.... or do music at all...

wish it were real..rip angel†††

 

BUCK-TICK disbands

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Kamijo buys a new pair of boots

Karasuna Mei's new project goes rap-core

B.P.R. execs discover that there are more letters in the alphabet besides A, B, C and D

Hazuki will abandon music and follow his life-long dream of becoming a fisherman

Seiya (ex. Deviloof) will join a fabulous oshare-kei band

 

 

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real or fake?

real or I had some bad weed:  Nocturnal bloodlust singing Taylor Swift.

fake: Maria Cross+Yoshiki+Kisaki+Nemo+ Yoko Ono= Becomes a group of shit and becomes the new Gazette

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So ur with ur honey and yur D=Out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "visual key new album coming uot now" U tell ur girl n she say "visual is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

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