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14 hours ago, nekkichi said:

nnn I feel like it did happen at some point.

ahahaha, maybe. You're sharp as hell, whatever the case. 😛

 

Anyways

 

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS BAND TO RELEASE NEW MUSIC!!!!!! :wan-48:

 

 

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Going through a break-up when you live with that person is the worst feeling ever. The mornings are the worst. I keep waking up and it takes me a solid minute to remember that it's over - and it breaks my heart all over again. We're treating each other kindly, almost too kindly; it's like we never broke up in the first place. 

 

I've missed a few days of work just to process all this nonsense. I can't even bring myself to begin looking for a new place - I've found a few decent matches, but I haven't budgeted enough money for a deposit / first & last month's rent so I'm stuck here, with him, for at least the next few months. Sorry for using this thread as a blog, but I don't really have any support system anymore. 

 

This sucks, y'all. 

Edited by The Moon

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I just booked my flight for my first ever vacation and I'm super nervous.  I'm going to do everything by myself but I've never even been to an airport before.  I don't know how to explain to my dad that I'm choosing this because I just want to be alone and far away for a while, and I feel less comfortable with other people.  With the danger of travelling alone aside, I can't see how this won't be rewarding for me

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I'd like to keep the door to my balcony open so I could get some fresh air into my apartment but I'm pretty sure there's a spider living on my balcony and I don't want to take any risks of it getting inside my apartment. It would also be nice to sometimes go sit on the balcony and enjoy the summer but no way can I do that if the spider's there.

Damn thing should at least pay a part of my rent for taking my balcony like that.

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I'm really resentful all the time. I can control it really well but it's always there. It doesn't actually affect me in any way other than it's just... there. I'm assertive, I can stand up for myself, I say what I believe in, I'm always honest and I'm never out to hurt anyone, and I don't think most people can even tell I have these resentments, but they're always there and their presence is just so internally dominant. I wish I could say everything I want to say to everyone who hurt me, but I'll never see them again and it's for the best if I don't. I can't forgive them because forgiveness is an emotion, not an action, and it has to be felt before it's dealt, and I know that if I ever said I forgave those people, I'd just be lying to myself and letting them back into my life only so they could betray my trust again. If not them, I'd be letting others do it in the future and not learning from the past. If I forgive people all the time, they just depend on me and get me down. If I don't and just never speak to them ever again, this happens. I'm holding at least four grudges, and I've had to stop loving people whom many would argue I should love "unconditionally" (I don't even believe in unconditional love). It doesn't affect the way I behave in front of others, and I don't even have depression because of it, but it's admittedly very tiring having imaginary conversations with people I don't even like. I would speak to a professional but I know they'd just offer me ways to control it when I can already do that. This is more to do with my heart and how it reacts to all this. Thank fuck I can let my head rule my heart and not go off on anyone because of this because if I couldn't, then I'd probably get arrested.

 

Sorry about this. This isn't the first time I've vented like this lately and I feel bad for it because I don't usually like it when people vent all the time to me (I'm okay with every now and again, but not if it becomes habitual), so I really am sorry. I just needed to get this out somehow because it's been on my mind for about a year or so. This is hopefully the last time I'll do this here, or at least the last time for a long time.

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Every now and then I think back to how disappointed I was by the ending of the first season of the J-drama "The Quiz Show" and sigh heavily. I rewatched it not that long ago, and I still love it until the last episode.

 

I really wish Japanese movies and TV shows would cut back on all the brother/sister incest. :tw_sweat:

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2 hours ago, chocobuzz said:

I'd like to keep the door to my balcony open so I could get some fresh air into my apartment but I'm pretty sure there's a spider living on my balcony and I don't want to take any risks of it getting inside my apartment. It would also be nice to sometimes go sit on the balcony and enjoy the summer but no way can I do that if the spider's there.

Damn thing should at least pay a part of my rent for taking my balcony like that.

the fucked up part of this is that in all likelihood there's probably at least 1 or 2 spiders inside your apartment right now anyway

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34 minutes ago, Tokage said:

the fucked up part of this is that in all likelihood there's probably at least 1 or 2 spiders inside your apartment right now anyway

I'm not ready to face that reality yet

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Recently watched the CDTV countdown, which I haven't seen in probably 8 years. If you took out the Western artists and K-pop and just showed me the rest of the countdown with no context, I would be convinced into thinking it was from 8~10 years ago. I haven't kept up with mainstream J-pop in a looooong time, but Nogizaka46 being all over the place (like AKB48 was at the time), the saccharine male idol groups, idol anisongs, and sprinkling of folk hits still feels very familiar.

 

I wonder why the Japanese music industry has been so stagnant over the last decade...or everyone else is going really fast.

Edited by colorful人生

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