CELESTIAL CIEL

I messed up friendship with the most amazing person in this universe because of my homoromanticism, and now when she's too far away I understand I'll love her until the last breath ahahah aaah... Planning suicide right before my 26 birthday, it still looks like a happy ending. 

I'm visiting psychiatrist twice a week and he laughing at me. I'm cutting myself again. 

Your psychiatrist is laughing at you? That's is very far from being ethic. Btw, why don't you try psychoanalisis? Unless you have some symptoms that require the appropriate medication to make them go down (delirium, hallucinations, panic attacks), psychic suffering does not necessarily need pharmaceutical interventions. It's actually a matter of speaking and listening to oneself's deep dilemmas...

@Manji 卍 now I want to phone them just to talk... It's quite strange to realize that there's something I can't tell even to my parents, like, thoughts about killing myself and how miserable I feel myself because of absolutely sick addiction to my only friend...

I understand you,I'm in need of the same thing,but feels like there's no one that I can open myself about such thoughts. I've tried some therapist and stuff but it feels weird paying someone just to listen to your problems. I think you should try to phone them,you got nothing to lose trying it

You always can call such hotline,

for me nothing works, because I know my problem, and the way to happiness there isn't any simple solotion for. talking with a random person doesn't work, doesn't solve anything. But someday I hope to hit the right road so that I really can smile daily happy! 

@Masato I mean I have trouble with career after japanese language school, college or university, doesn't matter... 

get married to a rich businessman already

@dovesi did you get yours? No? So that's the answer. 

He's always been that way. lol He's a super chill guy.

lmaaaoooosdofsokskksks 1:48 takes me out every single time

Feeling oftenly the same. Stay strong ! 

ummmm sweetie, some???? people???? have???? fun???? to COPE?????

(nah jk, fuck that whole ''roleplaying real people''/''writing romantic fanfic about real people'' stuff, it's awful)

 i'm not ready for it...  [2]

Takashi and Tomo are not fucking, no matter how many times Yoshiatsu tries to intoxicate them with helium balloons...🤢

*sigh* I remember when I tried Tumblr for a bit. Then, after I posted something about a particular vocalist, a role-playing account replied "Thank You". I gtfo of there, lmao. 

I'm sorry, but I just find all that a bit creepy imo.

Well, their "leader" is actually a two-faced bitch and their second leader is that person who told me drink less when I decided to say sorry right before my last suicide attempt.  I really love them and we were friends, but sometimes I think I want to die bc it's too sad. 

It's personal, anyway.  Nevermind.

Mmhh...  i'm sorry about that, hope you feel better now ; and don't listen all the shit they say. (You already know that it's shit i guess)  How people can be dumb like that...

Can you recommend any songs? 

@merchenticneurosis
of course! the band have had many lineup changes, and the last lineup is the most stable.
i like this period, the sound is more hysteric than their early works.

 
this one is from their last album^^

one of their early lineup, with totally different sound (but still good, i think...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMfnVhX39cU 

 

I'm not sure they're easy to get, but I have their discography and i could upload it.

I'm digging, sounds great!

u should try tindr x 

roots of shit-kei

that's quite rude x