CELESTIAL CIEL

I messed up friendship with the most amazing person in this universe because of my homoromanticism, and now when she's too far away I understand I'll love her until the last breath ahahah aaah... Planning suicide right before my 26 birthday, it still looks like a happy ending. 

I'm visiting psychiatrist twice a week and he laughing at me. I'm cutting myself again. 

Your psychiatrist is laughing at you? That's is very far from being ethic. Btw, why don't you try psychoanalisis? Unless you have some symptoms that require the appropriate medication to make them go down (delirium, hallucinations, panic attacks), psychic suffering does not necessarily need pharmaceutical interventions. It's actually a matter of speaking and listening to oneself's deep dilemmas...