ghost

I'm hoping someone can give me some insight on this. I've met 3 girls within the span of this last year, all on different levels of intimacy. First girl I met, we spent a lot of time together, mutually confessed that we liked each other, but ultimately decided to hold off on a relationship because she was going through school. But like a week later, she told me she did want to and I told her that we should still wait. We talked a lot and spent a lot of time together and we were physically intimate through things like holding hands or even running our hands through each other's hair. Then, one week she says she just wants to be friends and she's not ready to be in a relationship. In this case, it also turned out she was deciding between me and another guy and decided to go with him, but point is that she said she had feelings, proceeded to communicate that through quality time and physical touch, and then does a 180. Second girl I met on a dating app. First time we met up we had a good time. I wasn't super into her but I was down to meet her again. After our first date we exchanged numbers, texted here and there throughout the week and that led up to a second date. At this point we started to talk about past relationships etc. and it came up that she didn't want to go into a relationship right now, especially with her studying for optometry school. So I said that's fine but we still ended up meeting anyways for like another good 2 weeks and I think we both had a genuinely good time. We stopped seeing each eventually but we follow each other on instagram and it looks like she's dating someone now. No biggie, but I guess my initial thoughts were, "huh, she didn't feel like she could start a relationship with me but I guess this other person is fine?". Again, didn't really care but just something I noticed and, I mean, I didn't really go after her. Now, this third girl I also met through a dating app. It was very short lived and we only stayed in touch for 1 week. But it started with us messaging back and forth. Initially it was casual stuff we talked about, but just a few messages later it really ramped up and we were both spending like 45 minutes each just to reply to one string of messages. And the thing was that it was both ways, her asking me questions and reacting and me doing the same back. The conversations were a balanced mix of surface-y stuff like tv shows, our life goals, and even spiritual aspirations. So I eventually asked her to dinner to which she said yes. When we met in person, it felt incredibly good. Really felt like we were vibing and we were very comfortable with each other. At one point she mentions that she's studying for dental school and that she probably will be pretty busy. I said that's fine, but that I wanted to know what she was looking for out of this then. She said that she wants to be involved in a serious relationship and I told her that's awesome, me too. So then I asked, well is this something you want to try and see where it goes and, again, she said yes. So, we made plans for a second date. The next day we were texting through out the day all the way until the evening before she went to bed. So I felt like she was still interested in me. At some points I messaged her first and other times she messaged me first. But then the next day, there was considerably less contact from her and I felt like something was off. She was hardly initiating with me and we stopped talking maybe around the afternoon. I just figured, ok she's busy and we just met so maybe I'll just give her some space. I'm not the only person she talks to and she did say she has a lot of studying to do. The whole weekend though she didn't text me. Me wanting to give her space, I didn't reach out at all and I just figured I'll see her at our date. Well, Sunday evening she sends me a text saying she's sorry but she thought about things and she just isn't looking for a serious relationship because school takes priority for her right now. I was kind of confused because she told me she wanted try things out with me and then she makes a 180. So, on 3 separate occasions this year, I've met girls that I thought liked me, sent me signals that they did or straight up told me, but just a short while later decide they don't want to go into a relationship with me. Now, obviously you all don't know me, but I think I'm pretty down to earth. In these cases all 3 have actually told me they're very comfortable around me and that they usually don't warm up to people this quickly. But for whatever reason, something about me seems to have made these girls change their mind about me. I figure, like the first 2 examples, even if you're going through school, if you really like someone you'll probably want to still try to get to know them right? Even if it's just to keep them around so you can try again when you are ready. From my standpoint, a couple of these girls did show signs that they were very interested in me, whether it was through physical touch or frequent communication and interest about my day. But their change of heart is so sudden, not a gradual thing. So I guess my question to the girls then is, in general, are there reasons why girls might change their mind about someone even after showing signs of really liking them? Because I'm just not sure what to expect anymore and I'm just inclined to hate furthering one's education at this point.

Alright, the list has been updated. Take a look and feel free to ask me any questions.

It's snowing here, so

The Necessities ~Surrounding myself with things I love.

I'm offloading a rare little gem from Charisma.com. It's a 7" record that has the song "イイナヅケブルー" as an A-side and "Supergirl" as a B-side. This was available for purchase through HMV Japan's website back in in 2014. I've only played it once since I bought it and that's why I'm selling it. I just don't play this enough. Asking $30 plus shipping. Shipping within the US would be $4 and for international shipping I would have to check. Thanks for looking and feel free to ask any questions. Apologies for the crude photo. I already had a photo with this in it so I just blurred out everything else. Good for size comparison though if you were curious.

It's finally come to the point where I only recognize like 5% of the set list.

fixed 😉 double fixed 🙃 tbh, Kumo is one of my favorites by them still. That guitar solo in "Kisei -Parasite" takes me straight back to the late 90's/early 2000's the moment it plays.

So I had a weird dream last night. Putting it in a spoiler for people who don't like nudity or assault situations:

Quick, someone tell Hizumi it's okay to make heavy music again. Get him a copy of Dogma and Ninth ASAP.

I don't revisit Hotarubi on its own ever, but I've always liked it when I listen to Macabre from front to back. Toshiya's got some great bass lines. Side note, I really wish I could've seen them during their Macabre tour aesthetic back in the earl 2000's. It's gotta be my favorite look from the band.

Yeah, I believe so. *This comment is entirely based off credits for mixing that I saw on discogs, just fyi. It would've been interesting to see more people remaster the tracks originally done by Tue Madsen since he was such an influence on the band's sound from DSS - Arche. Specifically, I'd be really curious to see what a Japanese sound engineer would do as I feel like there's a stark contrast in the way the songs are mixed on this collection and it seems to be divided by regional preferences (and by regional I just mean that there seems to be a different sound profile preferred by engineers from different countries). For example, it sounds like the Japanese engineers like cutting out the lows more so that the songs sound cleaner, but perhaps a bit on the sterile side for some songs. Western engineers sound like they like keeping the lows more for a bit of a dirtier sound which in turn makes some tracks a bit muddled sounding. Try taking a listen between Filth and Sustain the Untruth and I think what I'm saying might make sense (the prior being re-mixed by a Japanese engineer and the latter by another Western engineer that's not Madsen). Now, you might say it's probably just because Filth was originally from 2001 and STU was from 2014, but if you take a listen to the Cage remaster (1999) I feel like the low ends on this mix are boosted way more than the original. And wouldn't you know, Western engineer. Just my observations, but I really wish Dir en grey would go back to using Japanese sound engineers because, overall, I prefer the way they mix the band's music. No hate against Western sound engineers at all as there are plenty that I love, but for whatever reason the ones that end up working with the band just seem to do a less than stellar job.

While this sounds great on paper, I'm very skeptical about how they might be executed as most of their remastering efforts have either been negligible or took something away from the original mix. I did, however, think Vestige of Scratches was an overall good remastering of older tracks and would be totally on board for a similar sound. Songs like "Child Prey" hit so much harder and having a Vulgar remaster with VOS execution would be amazing.

Fall fal fall. Out with the ugh, in with the calm.

Store employee shot the shoot! lolol Thanks man! Just got them last week 😎

Met Charli XCX. She's nice.

New GosT albums out today. He's considered black metal now, right? lolol:

@Kabukichoatmidnight I'm doing much better now. I think I was just going through a moment. Also, I think age has to do with part of it. I'm on the older side and not finding someone has made me anxious about it. But I'm realizing more and more it's not uncommon for people my age (or even older) to not have found someone yet. And I'm coming to terms with that. And the person I had an interest in, I've since lost my interest in them romantically. For me I think amongst friends that kind of relationship should come naturally. In this case it felt very one sided so I got the sense she wasn't into me at all that way. I'm also all about getting to the point and hate love games. But I also have to feel a connection with the other friend. When it comes to strangers though, I have no issues letting them know I'm interested. Hell, I asked someone on my morning bus route to work a couple months ago 😂

A whole lotl axolotl. This is a continuation of my planet series. The sprouty pink planet represents my love for Japanese sweet potatoes. And also in my love an axolotl there is too 🍠