definetly, but sometimes I feel the desire is so strong because I am looking for meaning in my life. I can‘t seem to find it out of my own resources. I want to be busy with something beyond job life, for instance. I tried to find a cool hobby, but nothing seems to click with me quite. At the same time, I like the freedom of thought, I like how unoccupied it is (=not with worrying about a child etc). It can go anywhere, but damn sometimes it goes were it should not (=depression). So I have this naiive thought that a child could solve all of this ‚where should I go in my life‘?
I think birth is something very beautiful and I was always fascinated by the unconditional bond between parent and a child, it is the most fascinating relationship I can think of. No matter how bad you are towards your child, there will still be this magical bond connecting the both of you. You can‘t get out. It is dangerous, but it can be so powerful overcoming so much. God knows best what is meant for me.