secret_no_03

It's part not wanting to see him like that and part ignorance, they had deliberately lied to us and said that he'd only be there a few days, he died there not even a week later. The cancer had gone all through him by then and he had gone outside and walked around and fell and broke his arm and they put it in a sling because it wasn't going to heal anyway and I spent all of my waking hours the last six months of his life taking care of him and the last thing I said to him before I gave him some liquid morphine they had given him for pain was to get some rest. I woke up the next morning to find out that he'd fallen during the night and was taken back to the hospital in the morning; my grandmother having stayed up with him all night when he had woken her up yelling. Clearly I was passed out because taking care of someone with cancer, watching them wither away and lose 100 lbs, literally from 238 to 138 the week he died and looked like a holocaust victim is mentally taxing and stressful, made worse by him losing his mind and wondering where his parents were (obviously they were long dead). I really didn't want to see him like that and I don't think either of us could have stood me having to leave him there; he being to himself and talking up until about a day or so before he died and they sedated him to the point that he never woke up. The worst part is probably because we had gotten there right after he had died, maybe 5 minutes too late and I never got to say goodbye or tell him I loved him, etc and the man raised me like a son since he had no children (my mother is from another man) and my father had been out of the picture until I was 15 so he was basically my dad. I won't continue to go at it, but man it's so much harder than you realize, you're waiting for them to die, you're just wanting them to be out of their misery and they linger and linger and then, yeah. If you ever have a loved one who's terminally ill don't wait to say goodbye because you might never get the chance.

Well thank fuck for that, I was worried since they didn't indicate where you could get it for the longest time.

They always have to be front and center, there's video of protests in Tokyo and gaijin are literally in the front leading everyone else.

I wish I would have visited my grandfather in hospice when he was dying and had a proper goodbye. I also wish that I took better care of myself in my 20's (thankfully I'm in good health but still) and I wish that my aforementioned grandfather hadn't worked all of his life to die with nothing to his name but a 30 year old beaten down vehicle. I don't regret really anything that I've done personally because I'm a strong believer in fate and feel that everything happens for a reason.

They do these virtual streams every day now, different genres usually. My favorite DJ/Producer FujiTrill is headlining.

@Mr.0 and I generally get all of their music and I've uploaded the entire disco minus their latest live DVD which I don't actually own over here so I'm sure one of us will get it and upload it.

At least here in the US CDJ still ships and has discounts for alternatives to EMS, not sure about the rest of the world.

I'm waiting for the next great design of DÄLLE merch to come out, but man it takes a month or more to get stuff from CDJ from Atsushi, and @Paraphtried to figure out international shipping through the store, as have I but I never got a reply. CDJ doesn't charge as much as most proxy's so I find it worth it, they barely make money off of doing it.

The Pokémon channel released a video of Pokémon if it were released in the 50's (in America) in the style of 50's cartoons. This should be a thing.

New mini/album likely coming out in July!

It's okay, Közi did too.

For real, Kai is so good, but he's put out so little in his career, who knows why, but more Vamquet is needed. DÄLLE are on the back burner while HATE HONEY are restarting activities and it looks like XA-VAT and ZIZ aren't coming out with anything since the new ZIZ is already finished. Come on Közi, while there's still time!

Cassette, I can only think of a handful of those in the last decade.

They're now finding out that Covid-19 effects the blood cells which explains why it's causing problems to people's toes and giving people strokes. It's the first time they've found a repository infection that attacks blood cells. 🙁

http://deviloof.jp looks very nice.

Munimuni are a revelation.

So much easier than Facebook, nice to see a storefront.

Very wise words. On a side note, he always looks immaculate. 🖤

https://kotaku.com/one-japanese-bus-companys-solution-to-travel-in-the-cov-1843819379

So fucking hyped for this!