jiji94

me: I think I like someone? person I like: *abruptly stops talking to me for no reason* me: I guess never mind..?

So I received my red/white Holga 135BC camera today that my dad ordered for me but he didn't buy me the one with the flash. So now I'm trying to find one. lol It's cute though, I'm excited to test it out at least once I pick up some film. My parents definitely think I'm weird for wanting a film camera though. My Moomin 2018 planner also came in the mail late~. I'll try to take photos of my stuff later. That turntable is really fucking nice.

Yeeeah that's what I thought. And guess I might suck it up and pay that amount for shipping. It's something I really want.. I'm just crying at the shipping cost. lol

man this song is so fucking beautiful but so tragically sad, spotify won't stop recommending his songs to me

So I've never tried figuring out where to post on this forum asking for where to buy something Jrock related, but I noticed on CDJapan they still have Pay money To my Pain's LE release from last year and I *really* want that shit bad. But it's like $70+ shipping to Canada.. I haven't started buying many albums or music related stuff yet because I'm waiting to move out but this is one of my priority list items. I'm going to Japan in a few months.. Are there places I could search for this in Japan..? I don't really know how to hunt down LE items. I was just surprised I can still find it online.

How do you stop yourself from telling off mansplainers? I don't deal with them too often but now in one of my friend groups there's been a random increase in dudes mansplaining the randomest crap to me. Or how do you tell them to fuck off politely? One guy and I were talking about a term that's a slur in Canada and now he keeps using it? Even though he knows it's a slur here? Weird.

- Herschel x Hudson's Bay backpack. I *really* wanted this, so bad, especially for traveling and if I work as a teacher. I've never owned anything from either company before. Needless to say I'm in love with it. I love the fleece lining inside. Not huge on brand names, I just wanted a decent backpack and I like Hudson's Bay's signature colours. lol Thanks, parentals! - Holga camera, but it's not here yet. - Some noice clothes. - A lot of chocolate. Got gift cards so going to buy a sweater I saw in H&M and also buy some decent pants because I got rid of most of my winter wardrobe.

I haven't been taking Jonghyun's death well at all. I have no energy and I just cry all of the time. My friends are hurting and not ready to talk about it. The sad (but beautiful) messages from his friends and people who knew him really hurt.. Idk why I feel so worried, I feel so sad. Leeteuk's message pretty much made me cry all of Christmas. Why am I so emotional? It's just so overwhelming. Tbh when Isshi died, I sort of went through a milder form of this. But it's what ended up making me take a break from all Japanese music for a few years. Which was.. okay because I probably would've gotten into PTP at that time and don't think I could've handled K's death. Idk what I'm saying. I'm tired.

lol I'm sad

I cut my hair super short this week and have never been happier with how I look. Also, fuck transphobes. I offered to help a woman pay for new glasses after her old pair was broken by a couple of homophobic/transphobic pricks who decided to beat her up for being trans. I'm still so mad and upset thinking how many people does this shit happen to?

Wowza, there's a limited edition hide turntable?? I was just about to start looking for one. I might actually get that. Also hoping I can get my hands on hide vinyl.. I don't own any Japanese vinyl atm but I'm planning to start when I visit Japan. There's a lot I'm looking for used if possible, because they were limited edition. Also on the hunt for some old P-Model vinyl and cassette tapes.

It also makes me so sad, it snowed on the 18th in Seoul and everyone was so surprised and taking photos (according to my insta feed).

I woke up when the news broke and I'm just so sad. I got into Korean music and dramas at an odd time, around the time that Choi Jin-sil died and there was a surge in copycat suicides. Ever since, I've been invested in learning more about mental health in South Korea. And things still haven't changed much since then. I hope more is done. I really worry how the public will react to his death, especially young fans.

k I thought I liked someone, then realized nah, I have feelings for an anti-capitalist farmer boy who has good taste in music. Maybe. Idk. What are feelings.

oh god, now I'm crying over everything Experiencing crushing loneliness this holiday season. I know I'm extremely comfortable being single but my situation doesn't help alieve the loneliness. I don't live near any of my friends anymore and I don't get out often except to go to work. Not feeling particularly down about that as much as I did when I first got into this situation but still... I'm lonely. I want to get out and meet people but that won't be my reality for several more months. Also, like, going on a date. I just want to experience a date with no expectations. How do people meet people to date. Anytime I've tried I get rejected. lol Which is fine.

Staying too long. Trying to fix things when I know deep down there's no way of salvaging the relationship without losing my sanity. Giving up my own life for the other person's happiness and ego. Pretty much ignoring clearly abusive situations and not knowing how to stand up for myself or how to walk away. Communicating how I feel is going to be super hard in future relationships because I'm used to just shutting down.

It's the hair but they definitely look a lot more like that band. lol

hey hey hey does anyone who can read japanese or knows how buying tickets to lives work wanna help me figure out how to buy a potential live ticket/help me fricking translate this page I'm looking at because I'd like to see Frederic in Kobe next year. Oh nvmd, my friend translated for me and it's impossible. *cries* lol

Ooh thanks! I thought so, I saw something mentioned about Berlin and that they did a European tour before. It's too bad some of their newer work isn't available on Spotify (I just downloaded it finally but I'm disappointed, 60% of what I listen to regularly isn't available lol or on itunes).

Thanks. I'm really hoping it helps. The fact it's causing mild panic attacks almost immediately after taking them has me a bit worried but hopefully that goes away. Really amazed how steady my mood is though, I'm hoping it stays this way because before and during my time of the month I experience pretty bad bouts of depression and just feel really "off". So far so good. --- So I started listening to PLASTICZOOMS after YT must've recommended them to me at least a hundred times. lol I'm not exactly sure how I feel about their music but somehow I *really* like them. Although I can't stop laughing over how much Sho looks like a more hipster version of Ryutaro (also he's openly bi? That's pretty cool). I'm really, really attracted to Tom's legs. I have never learnt so much about a band so fast in like, years. I'm confused as to why they have so many international fans though because they seem pretty indie.

I liked Ashita, Mata. I'm not sure if I dug I Don't Believe You. Yoohei not in a suit is also disappointing.

Haha I guess. Most people I know who've been in VK were converted by me sooo. I've kind of shifted out of vk in the past few years but I still meet people who used to be vk fans at one point in their lives. I've worked with exchange students from Japan and some of them have been casual vk fans.

There's a J-indie thread? Shiz, I need to look through and see which bands I've been listening to haven't been posted. I swear to god, I've been sucked harder into the J-indie vortex than I was with visual kei bands..

Someone compared my boy Yongguk to Gackt and called the latter gorgeous and I'm horrified. HORRIFIED. I thought they had to be joking, but apparently they weren't alone in this opinion. They literally have nothing appearance-wise in common, and since when was Gackt still relevant??? On an unrelated note, I just start birth control because my monthly gift has been nothing but trouble since I've gotten older. I'm not getting any PMS signs until the day of and the pain has gotten worse, so my doctor finally talked me into trying it. Idk if it's supposed to work right away, I noticed after the first pill I felt weird af but my mood has been substantially better??? I have horrid moodswings. Omg is this shiz gonna help with breast pain before periods? I can't even hug people, it hurts so bad. I'm pretty horrified by the shaming of people for taking birth control.

Yup, I am! I live in NB. Despite the small population, I know I'm not the only vk fan out this way. lol