Manji 卍

Yes, I've been looking for a better job now,as a opportunity to live a better life and finish things I've started some time ago. But I gotta clean off this pitchblack negativity which insist to dominate my mind whenever I try to do something "meaningful".Not talking about material stuff,it is easy to conquer, I mean being fulfilled in life.

well i'm afraid you can't just erase negativity completely, you have to learn how to live with what you have, trying to become a better self maybe? idk where i'm going with this tbh, but i don't really believe that one can "turn the page", "start new life" etc. so, like, it's not meaningless to fight with your negative self, but hoping for perfect results can make it all worse. and what does your negativity say to you when you try to do something meaningful?

i'm sorry if i'm talking bullshit or asking stupid questions ._.

@yomii actually,your thoughts are pretty much like mine and makes sense to me.Notice that I've said a "better" life and not "new". I don't believe things can be completely erased either,we just wait for it to lose its power and learn how to live with it, paying attention to other things. But if you experienced death through someone else's death (a loss),you will never be the same, it's like living half dead, many things loses it's taste,the colors of many things are simply drained. Some people can "turn the page" by focusing on new things, some others like me keeps running in circles in the dark.