itsukoii

any fic by sexsuna LOL

whore lycaon takes the cake

would fight ruki because he's got pillow fists, but would probably knock me over the head with his chanel bag

would fight ruki because he's got pillow fists, but would probably knock me over the head with his chanel bag

would fight ruki because he's got pillow fists, but would probably knock me over the head with his chanel bag

ended my first relationship today (1yr 3 months). it went smoothly and i'm glad we mutually agreed we're better off as friends. but it still sucks, and after being in a relationship for so long i have this newly developed fear that i'll be alone forever even though i've NEVER given a shit about that lmao. hopefully it'll start to go away as i start focusing on my personal growth again. i regret none of it, because there was a LOT of valuable knowledge to take away from it. i start uni in the fall, so i want to take the summer to really get my act together. here's to a new chapter, i guess? i'm feeling optimistic, even if it's hard. i feel really relieved.
 
if anyone has tips for dealing with a breakup tho, hey, send em my way ,,

ended my first relationship today (1yr 3 months). it went smoothly and i'm glad we mutually agreed we're better off as friends. but it still sucks, and after being in a relationship for so long i have this newly developed fear that i'll be alone forever even though i've NEVER given a shit about that lmao. hopefully it'll start to go away as i start focusing on my personal growth again. i regret none of it, because there was a LOT of valuable knowledge to take away from it. i start uni in the fall, so i want to take the summer to really get my act together. here's to a new chapter, i guess? i'm feeling optimistic, even if it's hard. i feel really relieved.
 
if anyone has tips for dealing with a breakup tho, hey, send em my way ,,

ended my first relationship today (1yr 3 months). it went smoothly and i'm glad we mutually agreed we're better off as friends. but it still sucks, and after being in a relationship for so long i have this newly developed fear that i'll be alone forever even though i've NEVER given a shit about that lmao. hopefully it'll start to go away as i start focusing on my personal growth again. i regret none of it, because there was a LOT of valuable knowledge to take away from it. i start uni in the fall, so i want to take the summer to really get my act together. here's to a new chapter, i guess? i'm feeling optimistic, even if it's hard. i feel really relieved.
 
if anyone has tips for dealing with a breakup tho, hey, send em my way ,,

u get horny for muscles one time and then ppl come running to do a smear campaign on u SMH

i probably have more involvement on stan vk twitter than the average poster here. overall i don't really mind intense fandom stuff, it's nice to see people care so much about what they love.

but the described phenomenon of fans falling in love with their favs ("gachikoi" fans) is kind of the crux of bad fan behavior in vk in general, to me. people are simultaneously super judgmental (towards themselves and others) and super defensive about the potential that they might have actual feelings for their favorites. i feel like the advent of fanfiction, roleplay, etc. in the western fandom is probably sometimes related to young girls needing some outlet for these feelings (and sexuality in general but that's a whole nother can of worms). it's also i think what motivates some women to pull the "i'm a better fan" or "___ is a bad fan" thing -- they want to believe that they're worthy and others are not. stan culture is only fun when it's not competitive like that tbh.

12012's self titled LMAO 

mejibray & mamo stans.
(speaking from what I've seen, not necessarily experience)
 
I'm offended

there was actually a well-organized numbering system that a few fans set up for VIP, not sure about GA. but i went around noon, planning to stay there all day, but i was instead given a number and told that i could go and come back as i pleased. when i came back around 5pm, the people in line let me in without issues when i showed them my number. the staff was something else though. lmao. scary and unprepared, i think. but everything went pretty smoothly despite it!

deviloof lmao

Setlist:
1. 99.999
2. Falling
3. Ninth Odd Smell
4. Gush
5. Vortex
6. Venomous Spider's Web
-SE-
7. The Mortal
8. その声は脆く
9. DOGMA
-SE-
10. The Suicide Circus
11. Incubus
12. UGLY
13. Two Of a Kind
14. Filth in the Beauty

Encore:
15. INSIDE BEAST
16. COCKROACH
17. TOMORROW NEVER DIES

 
I'm in need of facial reconstructive surgery after this experience, because my jaw was on the floor the entire time.

I have been waiting for years for the GazettE to visit North America on their World Tour. Last time that I remember making plans to go, the band had elected to skip North America, and then the time after that I had prior commitments and couldn't make the show. I was hellbent on making sure I attended this one, and I made sure to bring my friend Jet with me. We were listening to the GazettE in high school during the peak of visual kei, so he's that one friend I can talk to J-Rock about in real life. He's been waiting for this experience as long as I have.

After smashing plates of chicken katsu, bulgogi, and rice, and braving our way across town through weather that threatened to pour (but didn't), the two of us arrived at Playstation Theater and was overwhelmed with the disorganization. There were a lot of fans, many lines for various purposes, and no signs to shepherd people into their place. @YuyoDrift, having bought a VIP ticket, was already in the thick of it by the time that I had arrived, and I was unable to find him. After asking around, we discovered that the line we wanted to be on was down the block and around the corner, and that line itself stretched down the block and around another corner. Organization was easily the weak point of this concert, since it seemed like the staff of the theater hadn't planned on so many people showing up. Joke's on you guys; when a visual kei band shows up in America the scene rolls out!

@YuyoDrift had reported some issues and drama near the front of the line concerning miscommunication between VIP members and heresy fan club members on who got to enter first, but all I can talk about was how the other half of the line was progressively pushed back further and further until we were about a block and a half away. While I was in line, no less than five groups of people came up to me to ask why we were all standing here. One of them offered to sell me weed and some papers. None of them knew who the GazettE were, but a couple seemed more than interested in the colorful garments of some of the more hardcore fans in line.

I need to take a moment to discuss the people that showed up. What a generational gap! There were easily 800 to 1000 people between all of the lines, and this is just what I saw. The youngest fan I saw on line was 12 or 13. The oldest fan I saw on line was in their 40s, and that person didn't look like they were escorting a relative. Some of the older people on line most definitely were parents. The most common age range was actually 18-25. There were people dressed relatively normally like myself, possibly sporting a band shirt or hoodie from a previous tour. There were some scene and emo kids wearing dark pastels and heavy make up. There were some fans who came in sporting colored hair and face paint, really pulling off the visual kei look. The most striking outfit I saw was a man in his 30s wearing a studded vest where the studs were easily several inches long, who came along with an equally as colorful entourage that could have been easily mistaken for Naruto cosplay. The stereotype about the average visual kei fan was thus dispelled and confirmed simultaneously, and I now have a deeper appreciation for just how many different types of fans there are.

I was stuck in line for an agonizingly long time listening to the people around me front their knowledge of the band, which was honestly rather painful. One person claimed that the GazettE formed five years ago, to which Jet and I exchanged glances and laughed really hard. We both were listening to the GazettE ten years ago, so clearly they were mistaken. Another person had asked when the band had actually formed, and it took them several minutes to find out it was 2002. Someone behind me in line claimed that the GazettE were K-Pop. I tried not to talk to many people in line because of this, but when you're outside for 90 minutes it eventually happens. I didn't meet anyone too outrageous and after a long time the line suddenly lurched forward and began feeding into the theater. The doors had opened.
 
Jet and I breezed through security, popped in our earplugs, and made our way downstairs to the venue. The line for merchandise was gigantic by the time we got there, and both of us made the decision to get good seats rather than stand in line. That turned out to be the wise move, because most of the merchandise was gone before the show even began, but not before both of us got a shirt later that night. There was a few cool shirts and hoodies that they ran out of before the show even began. Never underestimate the deep pockets of devoted fans. We were standing towards the middle of the floor at first, but we eventually decided to grab some seats shortly before the show began because we had already been standing for hours by that point. That was also a great idea, because parts of the crowd got really wild and it would have been hard to see over four rows of jumping and screaming fans. The earplugs were also a good move, because this concert was really loud. Limiting the sound to a max of 80 decibels spared my hearing a gory torture session and I was more clearly able to make out the instruments. 
 
Eventually the lights went dim and the crowd went insane as "99.999" started playing and the band members walked out to front stage. They played the first four cuts off of NINTH before the first pause, and I gotta say that hearing it live has made me enjoy these songs even more. I have a new appreciation for Reita and just how much his bass adds to the music. Heavy isn't the word for it; the bass itself sinks into the floor and pounds into your chest. He swapped bass a few times over the course of the concert as well, always slightly changing the feel of his bass depending on what songs were coming up next. "VORTEX" is the first curve ball that the GazettE threw the crowd, and then that was followed up with "Venomous Spider's Web", and I think both songs sound way better live than on the record. They fit naturally into the set and shows how much NINTH is a refinement over TOXIC. I wasn't expecting them to reach that far back. 

One of the standout moments of the show was definitely the combination of "The Mortal" and "その声は脆く". The first cut in really heavy after a second, shorter break and the first live-only interlude, which got the crowd really energized.  "その声は脆く" stole the show. This was the first proper ballad of the show, and the contrast on the guitars really changed the atmosphere of the venue for those few minutes. Ruki went all out on the performance here, adding some emotional screams to the end which made this a treat to experience. This entire show was recorded, so I'm really hoping that this exact performance of  "その声は脆く" ends up on the DVD. It needs to.

After that song was done, the lights fade and sound effects wash over the audience again before the opening riff to "DOGMA" began, and it's at this point where the crowd goes ballistic. No one was expecting this. The energy was insane, but this is one of those songs that I think sounds better in the studio than live. That's not to take away from the performance of this song, which was incredibly stellar, but more to comment on just how dense of a song "DOGMA" is. There was a bit of aural whiplash as the band transitioned into a live-only SE followed by "The Suicide Circus" next, but that set the tone for where the rest of the night was headed. Ruki addresses the crowd briefly before "Incubus" kicks in, followed up quickly by "UGLY". "UGLY" was absolutely dominant and by the end of the song the whole crowd was clapping together as the next song immediately kicked in. "Two of a Kind" was also a really powerful and driving song live, if a bit abbreviated. They went from one song to the next without enough time for the cheering to subside. I think Reita makes one more bass switch before this all begins as well. No matter what, the GazettE made sure those in the front were having the absolute time of their lives.

Ninety minutes had passed in a flash, and all too soon Ruki announced that they were playing their last song before cracking a small smile. The opening licks and background vocals of "Filth in the beauty" start up and then the crowd cheers harder than ever, and then Ruki's smile gets even bigger before he begins singing. This was the second curve ball we were thrown, and I'm really glad I got to hear one of their classics live. At this point, I looked to Jet who was already looking back at me, and he just shot me a huge thumbs up. "Filth in the beauty" was the song that got him into the band, so to end on that note was extra special for us.

The band took a ten minute break at this point and we got merchandise while the crowd was chanting for an encore. We went separately but got the same shirt for $35 (gotta support the boys) and Jet came back just in time for Kai to come back out. He picks up the mic for the first time, entertains the crowd as the rest of the band comes back, and gives the mic to Ruki for a few more words, some "I LOVE NEW YORK!!!", and then the beginning of "INSIDE BEAST" begins. At this point, we were glad they came back out at all and figured that we had one or two more songs left before the true end of the show, but I was seriously not expecting to get "COCKROACH" during the encore. This was the song that separated the old fans from the new fans, because the old fans were over the moon for getting such a throw back, and the new fans looked a bit confused over what song it was, but didn't really care because it banged so hard. This was the oldest song we got all night, and it was equally as compelling live as it is in the studio. I hope future tour dates get a crack at hearing "COCKROACH" live too. The show ended with "TOMORROW NEVER DIES", which was okay I guess, but I would have preferred "Unfinished". 

All good things must come to an end, but in this case that end was also good. All members of the band retired from the stage rather quickly; Kai took a picture with the crowd before departing too. Both of us had a train to catch, so we slipped out fast as hell after the show ended, but I heard afterwards there was a meet and greet for VIP. I wasn't on that line, so I can't report much on that. Considering how we've missed some bands that we'll never get to see live and how infrequently the GazettE are in town, Jet and I are both glad we went. We'll definitely be in line for the next visual kei concert to hit New York. If you're on the fence about buying tickets to go see the band, I would say go. If you have even a passing interest in visual kei, seeing one of the biggest visual kei bands of all time live is something words can only partially describe. If you really like the GazettE, you owe it to yourself to go.

Just keep in mind that they're going to be playing mostly their new material, so don't hold your breath expecting old classics like "Katherine in the trunk" or "Crucify Sorrow" to show up.

seeing this post nearly 3 years later has blown my fuckin mind. How the turns have tabled.

seeing this post nearly 3 years later has blown my fuckin mind. How the turns have tabled.

seeing this post nearly 3 years later has blown my fuckin mind. How the turns have tabled.

seeing this post nearly 3 years later has blown my fuckin mind. How the turns have tabled.

I always liked Zin from MoЯGuE's growls.
 

ao3 is the place
 
i would know , i must confess i write the gay as well
 
edit: tbh i also want to confess that i don't give two shits about today's vkei anymore. the current sound trends just don't appeal to me because i'm forever stuck in the 2000s shitkei i never actually got to experience when it happened lol. PLUS when my favourite bands (meji & lycaon) went normie i just. couldn't take it anymore lmao -- so i've found myself, embarrassingly enough, deep in the gazette fandom

i hated stacked rubbish besides filth in the beauty. dogma and undying are my top faves but i can't stand anything else by the gazette tbh
 
btw i like mia

the other night i had a dream where i was at this cute guy's house and we were hitting it off and i think we had a thing going on
 
but then. i projectile vomited all over his dog, his floor, and myself ://
 
he cleaned me up and didn't seem to think twice about it tho........ so maybe it was true love........
 
(but god, the weirdest thing is that the guy i dreamed about is actually REAL so now whenever i see him i get uncomfortable)

god my dreams are always so weird
 
so last night i had one where i was in this giant-ass phantom of the opera-like theater, and my art teacher (who i despise lolol) took my art class on a field trip to that theater, i guess? anyways, we were in the theater. 'we' being the art teacher, myself and the other art students, and probably some other people idk. the theater wasn't totally packed. nothing was going on on stage, the lights and stuff were on, people were just chatting and chilling, and my art teacher was walking around the isles.
and here's the wtf part. there were these weird foot-shaped plastic plates littered all over the theater, on seats, in isles, etc. and they all had... substances in them.
which my teacher would... drink??? she'd literally pick up the foot-shaped plates and drink whatever was in them???
lol anyways, she seemed perfectly fine with it. but there was this pink foot-shaped plate that i had by me, i'm going to assume i brought that plate even though i don't remember it being explicitly mine in the dream. but the teacher assumed it was mine and was for some reason really cautious with it. thanks that didn't hurt at all :)))
okok this next part had me dying: the substance in the plate was white. and listen, i didn't actually know what the substance was. but my teacher asked me what it was, so i just told her it was hand cream.
she... drank it, of course...
 
but tbh? i don't think the substance was hand cream
 
SERVES THAT BITCH RIGHT i really don't like her........

Seiya (ex-DEVILOOF gu.) tweeted today that he's searching to recruit a vocalist for a new metalcore project involving Hiroto (ex-DEVILOOF dr.). Requirements include being able to sing and scream, as well as be interested in VK.