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I'm sorry if this sounds condescending or it's information you already know but in my opinion you need to move past it and get out of the idea that this is the endgame or the one and only. In a very similar situation to yours, I ended up deluding myself and at one point believed 'being in love with her is everything I need' and whilst it's okay to always have a spot for that person in your heart, hanging on will stunt your personal development. It can be hard to let go but in time you'll see there is more to your life and there are other people out there who can make you feel the same way and even better, you just have to take a really big leap of faith.

good luck on their future endeavors, hope there is tons of music to plagiarize ahead of them x

I can only relay through experience so small story I guess lol. Present day I've learned to love myself, and I more or less don't trust anyone past casual friendship level. But ten years ago I felt the same as you. I had 'fallen in love' with my best friend of 13+ years, and we were virtually never apart. Of course I kept something like that hidden for 3 years before spilling. Needless to say it didn't end well for a multitude of reasons. For the next 8 years I fell into heavy alcoholism over it, even after not speaking for many years I could be pushed to the edge about it. But one day I forced myself to check in on how they were...I don't know if all the drinking just finally erased old connections or my meditation and self reflecting paid off idk. But what I saw was just disappointment, mostly in myself for ruining my own life over someone who honestly wasn't all that I had thought they were. I sat there scrolling through feeling nothing, I wasn't interested at all in the present version of them. tldr; not to go all monk on the situation, but sometimes I think we're desperate to connect to someone because of incongruencies with ourselves. I didn't really start to appreciate myself or feel a proper connection until very recently, like past 2 years when I started meditation. And any desire or need to connect kind of evaporated, not that I don't want a partner but that sadness is gone, you know. That's my 2 cents on it, it may not be applicable at all but I know how miserable that feeling is. If you want to try hypnosis I highly recommend Michael Sealey on Youtube, I almost use his vids exclusively. Good luck.

Ru was definitely on drugs in this episode.

Here a spot to talk about our zodiac signs, what they mean, how they apply to us. Personally I always think it's fun to find out some things about myself and others. Most things even make sense for me! Discuss, hope there are some people here to talk about it

Their first live will be on 2019.02.20 at Shinsaïbashi VARON ! A first single called 『Corps:Escape』 will be available via little HEARTS as of 2019.04.03. (1000 yen) The single will be pre-released at their live on 2019.03.29. Members : Singer : 莉桜(Rion) Guitarist : 櫂(Kai) Bassist : 雫(Shizuku) Drummer : 曖麗(Aira) Twitter : https://twitter.com/official_VARIE

Pretty sure this kind of thread should belong in here... This makes me oddly satisfied and extremely relatable on a deep level... as deep as it can get. I really like "zutto/itsumo" for some reason. Probably the way its said, and just the definition of it (pretty much "always"). I'm a sap.

Another chapter has been written and filed away into the ever growing library of visual kei history, so we resume our customary annual review of all of the great albums that saw the light of day in 2018. Unlike previous years, we elected to wait until the middle of January so the stragglers of the year had their fair chance to weigh in. This list is also not in any specific order, although DIMLIM's CHEDOARA deserves a mention for getting the most votes internally and therefore kicks the list off with a bang. Even in our most challenging years, there's always something fresh and new around the corner waiting to be discovered. Like always, this isn't an exhaustive list and plenty of the hidden gems slip through the cracks, so if you have anything to add to the list tack it on at the end so the entire community can find something new to enjoy. Without further ado, here are some great J-Rock albums of 2018. DIMLIM -- CHEDOARA @The Reverend @emmny @helcchi Sigh - Heir to Despair @The Reverend @helcchi Dir en grey - The Insulated World @emmny emmurée - lightless @The Reverend キズ - 「傷痕」 @platy Mass of the Fermenting Dregs - No New World @The Reverend @Zeus 陰陽座 (Onmyo-Za) - 覇道明王 (Hadou Myouou) @Zeus The GazettE - NINTH @Zeus グリモア - プシュコマキア @platy DADAROMA - dadaism#4 @helcchi @platy lynch. - XIII @YuyoDrift Thanks for reading!

If price is a concern, I personally liked Sakura Hotel in Ikebukuro. Good location, good staff, and you can opt for the private room or the hostel style depending on your preferences.

@Furik 縄, R指定 were Gara (Merry) and Ryou (Baroque) アイドル狂いの心裏学 was Haru (Dog in the PWO) and Lime (Kizu) リストカッター was Show (A9), Gara, Ryou 夕暮れの謝罪 was Gara, Ryou, Show, Haru, Lime & Tatsurou (MUCC)

Plug sesh is a go~! come, come~! https://plug.dj/monochrome-heaven

We're hopping on plug.dj for a lil bit. Come join us!!! https://plug.dj/monochrome-heaven

どんぶらこ / donburako = something heavy-ish bobbing and floating in the water (e.g. a peach) (it was also the name of an old song from an operetta about Momotaro, and a few more modern songs (some of which are also about Momotaro), and one of Doraemon's magical tools... but if it's referencing any of those there's no way to tell right now)

ugh this juliadoll song was everything, such a shame they peaked right at their debut in a random omnibus and only lasted for like 5 seconds

They’ll just put anyone on these omnibuses, huh

RUCY has departed after the band's live on January 20.

THAT is how you write a solo! also:

it is Portuguese for "hole" and also the name of a card game

Mandy Man, this was weird. And this is why I love watching movies without getting any info about them whatsoever. I can't say much other than the fact that this is one of my favorite movies with Nicolas Cage, he nailed it. Linus Roache also did a fantastic job in his role (just realized he's King Ecbert in Vikings wow). Also the cinematography is top notch. I highly recommend this one.

No problem! Glad I could help out That's awesome you'll be going to those VK lives. They're a ton of fun! (If you need any help for attending VK lives, there's a thread which discusses that topic... https://www.monochrome-heaven.com/topic/49345-bangya-hacks-advice-for-attending-vk-lives/) Hope your trip will be exciting! Would love to hear about it when you return As for converting dollars to yen in Japan, I usually converted some money to yen before I went and, while in Japan, mainly relied on ATM machines, which I found are pretty safe (in my experience). I found some articles talking about the topic: https://matcha-jp.com/en/6692 and http://www.travel-kyoto-maiko.com/traveltips/your-complete-guide-to-use-atms-in-japan/ (the latter link is promoting their company's tours, but I find it quite helpful for the issue ^-^) Hope this helps!

1.Macabre(the remastered ver) 2.Diabolos 3.Vinushka 4.Zetsuentai Rank your favorite long DeG song

Category is... Little Red Riding Hood ! Good sound and screaming, but I don't like his voice very much, I hope it improves with time...

Thanks soooo much for all the tips. I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. January is a super busy month for me! I added a bunch of the places you suggested to my trip itinerary, especially for Osaka and Nagoya. I'm super excited because we just scored tickets to see a few shows. Sukekiyo, Dadaroma, and Komodo Dragon! I'm so stoked to go on this trip. About the only thing I still need to figure out is the best way to convert dollars to yen when we're in Japan. Thanks again! P.s. @cvltic I actually used eplus to get the Sukekiyo tickets! Thanks for the tip!

Saw Aquaman earlier tonight because the movie my family wanted to see was sold out and it was on at the same time. It was pretty goofy in places, but I definitely went into it expecting that. Some cool action scenes though, and some of the settings were really pretty. I agree that Jason Momoa seemed uncomfortable during the comedic bits and the jokes mostly fell flat, but he looked great. That first wet hairflip when he appears on the submarine was majestic. Saw it for free, and I was entertained, even if I laughed more at the serious bits than the intentional jokes, so I can't complain. Good enough as a backup plan.

I honestly fell in love with BUCK-TICK after I heard the song Dress from Trinity Blood. My friend Ku is super into them, and loves them a lot, but I haven't liked them very long. However, I adore Atsushi, I think his voice is super unique and his stage presence is wonderful. My second song that REALLY got me into them was "Alice In Wonder Underground." The video made me go WTF the first time, but now I absolutely love it haha.

Falling in love all over again.

Give me five minutes to digest this. OH FUCK NO

Starting the year with a massive vk wipe 😕

Their last album was definitely their weakest release, but even their weakest was still good. I was just thinking that they were being kind of quiet too and now this. This blows.

That artwork looks like something I’d see printed on a plate at my grandmother’s house.

Or talking about Laputa to a Spanish speaking person.

Great, my dog chewed up a MALICE MIZER Mana guitar pick.... I'm happy he didn't choke.

Ooooh something of my forte! XD. First off, some stuff that's been floating around for a while but hasn't been posted here: Arisu & Aya from Missalina Rei: Hiroki (Ize) Mizuki & Yukku (e.mu) Now, for more secretive ones XD. Shizuru (PLEIADES, GRAND ZERO, 御剣-Mitsurugi-) Shinya (REDIEAN;MODE) Hero (CROW-SIS) Tamaki (Six O'clock/ORANGE JAM) Keita (Vivid) Kenji (STYLE) Akito (ALL I NEED/HUSH/acalli) Mitsuru (Shizuku...)

DAMY and Vexent played together quite often, didn't they? Kind of interesting that they announced their disbandment on the same day. I wonder if some of their members will come back together in new bands.

*LONG RANT* So I was on the bus earlier and I was listening to a quiet song. I overheard someone near me shouting about how her daughter wasn't allowed to watch Power Rangers for some reason, so I took one earphone out and proceeded to eavesdrop. Then, a loud song that I really like came on, so I thought "nah, I'm not gonna listen to this with just one earphone", so I paused it, skipped back to the start, then kept the one earphone in and looked distant so it looked like I wasn't eavesdropping. Anyways, this is the exchange that I heard: Woman (shouting at someone else): My daughter is not allowed to watch Power Rangers! If she sees Power Rangers on TV, she wants to be a Power Ranger! *turns to daughter to shout at her as well* What do you watch on TV? Daughter: Power Rangers. Woman (still bloody shouting as if the entire bus couldn't already hear her): No, you do not, you watch CBeebies! *turns back to other person* And that's all she watches. Either that, or horses, because she rides horses. Oh. My. KAMI-SAMA. This girl was, like, four or five years old and she's not even allowed to watch Power Rangers because her bitchy mother doesn't want her having an active imagination! I'm eighteen and I wouldn't mind being a fucking Power Ranger. Controlling parenting is my ultimate berserk button; I hope that little girl gives her mother hell when she grows up. I had to stop myself from getting involved. I think one of the only reasons I didn't was because I was nearly at my stop.

vocals sound always bland